[closed] dear deer...

[inveigle]

▶ WHO: the golden deer and pals
▶ WHAT: it's a permanent catch-all for shenans and schemes and 2am texts, because really... there's no telling what these fools will get up to
▶ WHEN: stupidity is eternal, baybee
▶ WHERE: stupidity is also impossible to contain to one location
▶ WARNINGS: nothing as of now, but content will be marked accordingly




just like it says up top, this is just a neat lil catch-all so we don't wind up flooding the comms! go wild...

Comments

ye olde groupchat

[inveigle]

event 14, aka how many deer can fit on one (1) couch?

[inveigle]

[inveigle]

[Whose idea was it to crowd onto Lorenz's couch? A mystery. What matters is that they're all here, crammed together on this piece of furniture that is definitely not meant for four grown adults, and they're... making it work. Somehow. The boxed wine—which everyone can enjoy from these glasses that Lorenz and Hilda held hands all day to purchase—certainly helps.]

a. pass the popcorn

[There's nothing fun about sitting smack-dab in the middle of the couch, but you know, Hilda is... dealing with it. Probably elbowing Lorenz and/or Claude in the side from time to time, Just Because. She's slowly sinking between these cushions! Drowning! And you bet she's migrating to the far end of the couch just as soon as she can, but for now, the concert is starting. It's, uh. It's fine, except, as she leans a bit closer to the TV:]

What are they even singing?

[Like, the tune is catchy, but everything else is... eh.]

So I definitely need more of this. Ooh, and one of those, please?

[She's pointing to the tray of snacks (re: Prisma's brand of Lil Debbie cakes) that's on the coffee table... while holding out her nearly empty glass. Did you offer to help her? No? Oh, well. She's already looking back at the television, mentally ranking these lads from hottest to nottest as she wiggles her glass a bit, so prepare for that fun quest. This is the Golden Deer Life™.]

b. complimentary, my dear

[Listen: Hilda is always enchanted with herself. She takes great pains to be cute at all times? Someone needs to appreciate her herculean effort, and it may as well be her—or, well. It may as well be the nearest Deer, because once Rasha starts singing, it doesn't matter that Hilda still can't understand a single thing. Hi, friend. Hello. Give her, like, a few seconds to sway along to this solo, and then Hilda is navigating the tangle of limbs that is the squad in order to drop right into your lap. She's been at the bottom of the pile for long enough! She deserves this!]

You know, your hair looks amazing today, [she sweetly says, holding her wine glass aloft in one hand (it's about two seconds away from spilling) as she rakes her other one through her pink locks. Hint, hint.] Did you try a new shampoo, too?

[She fishin'.]

b!!

[deerhearted]

[ Oof.

That's, of course, his first reaction when Hilda plops right into his lap. She's not heavy by any means but she did quite literally drop in his lap! He can see it in her eyes that she wants something - he knows that look anywhere, he's seen that look and he's lived that look. He's trying not to laugh from how utterly silly she's being, hiding it behind the rim of those adorable glasses they got. ]

Is it? Maybe I have. The shampoo here is different from home. [ He finally pulls himself back from his wine glass. ] I must say, my dear Hilda, you look incredibly ravishing and beautiful this fine evening - as always.

[ He isn't lying, theatrics aside! ]

[inveigle]

[How much Chroma has Hilda spent on shampoo and conditioner since arriving in this world? Don't ask. Don't peek into her shower and see the cool, like, thirty bottles crammed onto the shelf. Anyway, though: Hilda shifts about to sit sideways on Claude's lap, probably throwing her legs over someone else's lap as she does so—but it's fine, that's fine, everything is fine, because the only thing that matters is being complimented.]

Aw, Claude! So sweet—and so amazingly handsome. As always.

[She is also telling the truth, even as she tips him a wink before clinking her wine glass against his. Cheers to being really, really ridiculously good-looking! They've got it made—and yet the need for compliments is Strong, so as he brings her free hand to her cheek:]

But I really don't think the air agrees with me here. I feel like my skin is looking dull...

[Tell her she's glowing. :/]

[deerhearted]

[ He doesn't need to peek; he knows Hilda a little too well by now. The balance of the world would be off if Hilda didn't have at least twenty bottles of shampoo and conditioner. Anyway, Claude's free arm wraps around Hilda's waist to pull her close, a grin right on his face. Compliments are very nice! He's enjoying this a lot. ]

Amazingly handsome? Now you're just stroking my ego!

[ Clink goes their glasses. Cheers to being the hot house! Sorry, eagles and lions, but the deer win this battle. But it looks like the compliments aren't going to end there. He hums a little in thought, tilting his head to the side a little as he takes a peek at her. ]

Looking dull? Oh, I don't think so. You're glowing as ever. Sparkling, too.

[ And he nuzzles his cheek right against her shoulder playfully. ]

Your skin is soft too! Been using a new lotion, or are you always this soft?

[inveigle]

[She strokes his ego, he strokes hers... it's the perfect arrangement, so far as Hilda is concerned, which is why she can't help but to laugh when he rubs against her defenseless shoulder. Cheesy praise is still praise—and wow, sir, shave that scruff! It tickles.]

Hey! I've always been soft! Every young lady knows to take care of her skin, [she says, pretending to be affronted even as she easily settles against him.] But I did find new lotion today. Sparkling lotion. Nothing slips past you.

[So many things in this world contain glitter, she's found? Hilda is set to sparkle at all times. Let her just shift her wine glass to the hand nearest Claude's chest, all so she can bring her newly freed hand up to gently pat his cheek.]

Clever, clever Claude. And you give the best compliments.

[Complimenting his compliments, all in the hopes he'll keep 'em coming.]

[deerhearted]

[ Sorry, Hilda, the scruff is all he has! Enjoy being tickled while having your ego stroked by him. ]

Just my perfect observation skills at work. Now you're extra soft. [ Another rub before he finally lifts his cheek from her shoulder. ] It's nice. I like it.

[ More grinning, pearly whites shown as he leans into her touch. ]

Does that mean you want me to compliment you more? You give some pretty good compliments too, Ms. Goneril. It makes me feel aaaalll warm and fuzzy inside.

[ Time for the compliment circle. ]

a

[condolences]

[ marianne doesn't even look away from the tv, just leaning forward to grab the tray off the coffee table to hand it to hilda... and once that's done, topping off her glass with more boxed wine. she doesn't even question the fact that she didn't offer to help, nor the fact that hilda may not have been addressing her in the first place; she just does it.

anyway, marianne's still frowning the screen the whole time as she does so because: ]

I... I don't remember this being part of the lyrics? [ and she's been listening to their songs more times than she cares to actually admit. also like, she wanted to watch this concert for kaya, but the guy ain't even here. wtf. ] It sounds a little ominous, doesn't it?

[inveigle]

[Let it be known that Hilda was, in fact, addressing one of the boys? Lorenz, probably, because after arguing about Remainder strategies the previous evening, the least he can do is pour her some more wine—but Marianne really is too good for this world. Hilda is grateful.]

It sounds weird, [she says, balancing her wine glass on a thigh—dangerous!—as she splits this cosmic brownie... and holds one half right out for Marianne to take.] I didn't listen to much of their music, but wasn't it... happier?

[Easy to sing along to, at least. Something, something, My Favorite Prismagram Girl is a bop... but as Hilda leans a hair closer to Marianne, both to make sure she takes this brownie and to study her face:]

Hey, how much did you listen to? Are you a fan?

[MARIANNE! Did you buy merch!!!]

[condolences]

I remember it was more upbeat than this.

[ but marianne does take the half that hilda gives her, frowning a little at the tv like she expects the song to shift to what they're familiar with. but that gets interrupted when hilda leans in closer and calls her out— ]

Um, yes... [ god don't look at the merch she bought it's embarrassing. ] I voted for Kaya when the survey was going around.

[inveigle]

Kaya...

[Hilda tilts her head to the side, trying to remember the members of this band. She didn't listen to a ton of their music, no, but of course Hilda paid attention to pretty people—and soon enough, she's nodding, knowingly, like she saw this coming from a mile away.]

Oh, right. Kaya! The nice one. He was cute... but I voted for the tall one? You know— [She holds up an arm, flexing her bicep to show that this mystery man is buff.] I can't remember his name, though... L-something...

[It's Lecter, she's pretty sure, but as she glances back at Marianne's face? She's just waiting to see if Marianne remembers. How deep in this boy band hell are you, ma'am...]

[condolences]

[ closes her eyes................. ]

Lecter, [ this sigh is so deep it's like it came all the way from her feet. ] Is he the one you're talking about?

[hotproblems]

a. this is literally his own apartment

[Or: This is Lorenz's apartment that he has generously opened up to these Grade-A Fooles, because he loves them dearly most of the time, but ugh. Whose idea was it to watch this... this? He's complained already, several times, and inevitably extricates hismelf from the mass of too many adults on one small couch to sigh his way back to the kitchen for more snacks because no one else is getting up. He is the narrowest among them and it is still uncomfortable... This is his personal space hell.

And since the couch is not for four people it stands to reason that anyone would get more comfortable in the absence of one, so when he comes back he just stands there leaning one hand on the back of the couch and tuts disapprovingly. In his other hand he brings more chips, but y'all can't have these yet.]

The grievous disrespect shown to my property aside, [his SPOT... is GONE....] are we honestly still watching this?

b. (avocado) toast

[But not really, because they can't afford such luxury items after buying these ridiculous glasses. As the other member of the constantly enchanted with themselves duo, Lorenz is also always ready and waiting for delicious compliments, but now this absolutely atrocious concert has given him reason to believe they are extra deserved. Like, of course they are? His presence is the present, etc. He is a gift and should be treasured as such.

So, amidst this terrible singing he wishes he could turn down the volume on (alas, the TV remote has been cruelly stolen from him at least an hour ago), he clears his throat and raises his doofy glass. Attention, all deer, thank you. Attention at least one of you jokers, that's all he needs.]

Now that we are greater in number here, I propose a toast! To our success despite all odds in this bizarre city.

[........ahem, he glancin'.] Now you.

[make it GOOD!!]

a!!

[deerhearted]

[ Alright, first rule of Lorenz Fight Club ( aka lorenz house rules ): invest in a new couch. Well, alright, that's less of a rule and more of something they need to do asap, because this couch is way too small for the four of them - and maybe any future deer that come their way, because who knows what the future holds and all that jazz. He can at least agree with Lorenz on that! ]

It's like an accident I can't look away from. [ Begrudgingly, he makes room for Lorenz. ] I don't really get the music of this world, but it's kind of good? I mean, as good as it can get with those lyrics.

[ Seriously what the hell are they even singing about. ]

[hotproblems]

Hmm.

[Hmm, but consider this: they could watch literally anything else? Or not cram themselves onto this couch, but since this is his house (tm) Lorenz is going to put up with the latter. Gingerly he comes back around to sit down, holding out the chips because honestly he was never going to eat these and doesn't want to hold the bowl.]

Good? Really? [judgin'....] I do suppose there's no accounting for taste.

[But it sucks. Where is the remote.]

I have never seen so much... exuberant screaming in one place.

[deerhearted]

[ Don't be a party pooper! They're all together, this is basically them celebrating! ... Because they're all feeling lazy to do any actual celebrating, so watching a massive, popular boy band play on tv is basically the next best thing.

He does, luckily, take the bowl from Lorenz. More food! It's not exactly a feast, but it's close enough. ]

I think the beat is good. [ Some of us have guilty pleasures, Lorenz. ] Like I said, the lyrics are debatable.

[ The remote is hidden. Probably underneath a deer. ]

Me neither. They seem like they're having fun. [ a beat. ] I think.

[ The bloodcurdling scream could be from joy or pain. ]

[hotproblems]

[if only it were dubstep then maybe he'd change his mind. no he wouldn't but let's believe.]

This looks like fun to you? Even a little?

[He's not even watching at the moment, because he's on the hunt for that stupid remote, squinting at the coffee table... squinting at Claude... He'll solve this mystery in due time.

It's not dignified to lean forward a little and, like, wiggle his hand under the edge of the couch cushion, but he needs this remote!! Augh.]

I think it looks like utter nonsense.

[deerhearted]

[ those who let the beat drop in the dark. ]

Maybe not to me, but it's probably fun to someone, right? It's all about perspective, Lorenz! You won't be a good noble if you don't understand someone else's way of thinking.

[ But also it's kind of funny watching Lorenz try and find the remote to turn this crap off.

Really, Claude doesn't know where the remote is either. ]

What do you want to watch instead? Hilda's been showing me these things called 'Reality TV shows'. They're kind of funny.

[ And utter trash too, but he gets into them. ]

b

[condolences]

[ thankfully (?), marianne is never enchanted with herself and is always down to compliment others sincerely, especially her friends so, like? bold of lunatia to assume she needs to be under the influence of eldritch horror incantations masquerading as sugary auto-tuned pop in order to compliment people.

so when lorenz raises his glass and clears his throat in that way where he obviously has nothing in his throat and just wants attention, marianne looks up from her spot on the floor in front of the couch, holding her own glass. with two hands, because we all know she's clumsy af and she would never be able to forgive herself if she spilled wine on lorenz's carpet. ]

Oh— [ oh, he's looking at her expectantly, isn't he? marianne takes a moment to think of what to say; it's a little difficult when the screeching is still going on in the background and she's a little tipsy. but, she rallies. ] Um, I'd like to thank Lorenz, for letting us come over to watch the concert... and for always being very kind and supportive. I think I would have had a much more difficult time adjusting here, so I'm really grateful.

[ glancing up at him... was that... acceptable......... ]

[hotproblems]

[Oh... Marianne... his heart is full. His heart also objects to her sitting on the floor(!!!) but as long as she's happy watching the concert from down there, he will have to endure. Either way, even the most wild of secondhand compliment magics cannot override his innate urge to tell Marianne how good she is at all times? So.]

You— you are too kind, Marianne. As expected from someone with such a warm and generous heart. Of course you are always welcome here to watch... [he glances at the tv,] whatever ridiculous performances you want to see.

[The concert sucks. He does this for you guys.]

Ah, but. Would you like me to get you a chair from the dining room...?

[condolences]

It's true!

[ listen, how else is she supposed to put her merch to use?? also she realizes accidentally spilling crumbs on his floor is maybe like, a little better than spilling them on his couch, so. ]

I'm alright, thank you. [ and she points to the vacated spot, ] But you should sit, this is your couch after all. This way, everyone will have room.

[ funny how he calls this ridiculous when they have their weekly marathons of remainder and prisma bachelor. ]

[hotproblems]

[Remainder and Prisma Bachelor are not high art, but they are more entertaining than this concert. Still, since it's basically the only thing Marianne has asked for for herself... here they are. Watching the concert while she has her merch picnic.

Lorenz sits, but he is still looking at her and not the TV.]

Why don't you tell me what you like about this music? Perhaps you can convince me.

[condolences]

[ her merch picnic will last her until their Real Picnic and maybe by then she'll have forgotten about this momentary lapse of judgement. but one thing is certain: she will never be able to look at all this merch the same way again.

also, the moment lorenz asks about the music, marianne's face lights up and she sits a little straighter. get ready for this way too serious explanation, ]

Mm, well, I like their most recent album a lot... I don't think this concert is really reflective of what their music is like. [ especially since kaya isn't even there?? hello??? ] But they really do sound the best when they're all together. Their voices compliment each other and Rasha's lyrics are inspiring... but Kaya is my favorite member. His voice is just very gentle and comforting to listen to, like things will be okay in spite of everything.

[condolences]

a; oh my god, we're back again.

[ there would probably be some debate on how this party started, with the usual suspects likely raising the most suspicion. but in truth, it may have likely started with marianne, who had quietly mentioned that she wanted to see the concert sometime after the Morning Group Hug™ and during breakfast. actually going to the concert venue was too daunting, just imagining the enormous crowd of people gathered in the amphitheater gave her anxiety, so really, this was a much nicer alternative. thanks, lorenz.

anyway, they're all squished onto the couch and it's like, kind of uncomfortable, actually. but it's also really nice? just being together again. sure, they're still missing half of their classmates, but being around the other three has done a lot in helping her settle into this crazy world. marianne never imagined them here, piled on lorenz's couch drinking wine from a box and eating snacks, waiting for a boy band concert to start. pretty wild, tbh.

she's just happy she can spend time with everyone... don't @ her. and to distract herself from getting lowkey emotional, she'll point to your glass, ]

Oh, did you want some more wine? Here, I can fill it for you.

b; larger than life.

[ considering marianne was never enchanted with herself to begin with, this just means that rasha's singing gives her some much needed self-confidence and poise. like, she's been working on it, and she's been in a much better place now mentally and physically compared to five years ago, but still! it's a work in progress, you see. she's still unsure of herself at times, just like how she's unsure of these lyrics... hate that she suffered through this whole thing just so she could see kaya and the guy isn't even there. what a disappointment.

but anyway, marianne had vacated the couch sometime after her second glass, sitting on the floor in front with her cute *btsb blanket and plush she had bought earlier. she's even wearing a *btsb jacket with these cute fox ears on the hood. certainly different from her regular wardrobe, for sure. maybe enough to spark a comment or two. ]

I found it when I was shopping with Yuri earlier. [ bless him tbh because marianne didn't have the heart to fight the other fans for it but he had insisted. ] I like it a lot, it's comfortable... and I think the color suits me.

[ she actually? sounds proud?? and satisfied??? wild. ]